Ballerina
by secretffw
Summary: Blair has been Mrs Bass for a few months but all is not well.
1. Chapter 1

Arthur handed him his gym bag as he stepped out of the limo. It was Friday afternoon and he was very slowly beginning to feel the weight of another busy week falling away. Sunday to Wednesday had seen him in Moscow for Bass Industries. He had slept for just a few hours on the overnight return flight before emerging to a chilly New York morning and heading to the office. Yesterday had involved a long and detailed debrief with the board on his activities and findings from the trip followed in the evening and this morning by more paperwork from the other projects he had neglected whilst travelling. His right hand rubbed his lower cheek and chin as he entered the building. He'd barely had time to shave since leaving the Bass jet at Teterboro, let alone anything else. He gave the receptionist and security a quick glance as they smiled a welcome and he saw his new acquaintance waiting a few metres away.

An hour and an enduring game of squash later he was feeling physically tired but slightly more lose and relaxed. He appreciated Nate's suggestion for a suitably challenging opponent and would be sure to leave a generous tip for Robbie before leaving. The personal trainer had certainly provided a testing match but, as expected, was unable to break a three year unbeaten run. As he walked towards the locker rooms Chuck paused on hearing familiar classical music through a briefly opened door. Through a window on the same wall he saw a small ballet class of ten or so men and women along with a teacher. Through his weariness his eyes were drawn to a slim brunette in baby pink leggings and a black vest top. He paused. She was moving elegantly across the floor. All parts of her body were in synchrony with each other and the tempo of the music. Her slim arms stretched above her head and reached to her left gracefully and her right side stretched and followed smoothly. Leaning against the wall, he began to smile slowly but with a frown of confusion and surprise as her identity became clear. She moved with a spring into a series of small leaps and turns before the dance slowed again and she reached upwards, her breasts pushing against the top of the vest as she breathed in deeply. She appeared to be completely absorbed in the moment. A lock of brown curls slipped from her messy bun and caressed the pale skin of her neck as she turned fully towards him. This was the confirmation he needed that the love of his life was dancing before him. He quickly took a step back from the window. He felt slightly unfamiliar with the aura of total calm and peacefulness that she radiated. He watched for a few moments longer, ensuring that his body angle by the window meant he would not be seen. For the first time that week the tension fully dropped from his shoulders and torso and it felt like a soft breeze was cleansing his crowded mind. The music slowly faded out and her movements came to a gentle stop. He smirked to himself as he got an idea and slipped away.

The music stopped and Blair remembered where she was. Since a young age she had adored watching and listening to the Waltz of the Snowflakes. Few other pieces managed to take her away from the real world so completely. She took a deep breath to compose herself and followed the other women to the bar for a thorough stretch and cool down. She knew she had been successful in making her mind and body feel elsewhere for the past hour and it had provided a much needed break from missing him. But now it seemed the ache she had felt with increasing severity over the past six days was returning to most parts of her. She headed to the female locker room and collected a fresh towel and her shower items. She slipped out of her ballet shoes and walked across the empty changing area towards the gap in the wall that led to a row of private shower rooms. The dim lighting felt relaxing and she was looking forward to cleansing herself in a monsoon shower behind the frosted glass. As she turned slightly to enter the shower area she noticed his letters out of the corner of her eye - "CB" in italic gold stitching on the heel of a pair of familiar indoor sneakers left by the entrance to the showers. She felt a rush of butterflies, but how could he be here? In the women's shower room of a gym she had never heard him mention before and she had never mentioned to anyone. She wandered along the luxurious marble floor past each vacant shower room towards the sound of running water coming from the last in the row. Unusually, the door was slightly ajar and she pushed it gently. Were there any rules he would not break? "Chuck?"...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Chuck?"

Light steam clouded her view slightly but his outline was unmistakable. Dark hair led to a muscular neck and broad shoulders. Her eyes drifted down his scrumptious back. She felt as though her legs were going to fail her.

He was already turning around at hearing her voice. She appeared slightly flustered from her exercise and perhaps also by his much unexpected presence.

He quickly closed the space between them, trapping her against the frosted glass of the door with his left hand on her waist and finding the lock with his right.

"Chuck! What are you..." He finished her sentence by placing his mouth gently over hers, his lips holding on softly to her own.

Her previously weakened legs found energy instantly at this connection. The butterflies turned to hungry vultures and she deepened the kiss and delved her tongue into his warm mouth, unable to show the same amount of control as he. "Too..." kiss "many..." kiss "clothes..." he responded after a few seconds and without breaking their connection.

Her vest was becoming damp from the moisture in the room and her leggings perhaps more for other reasons. He peeled the vest over her head whilst expertly unhooking her bra. He let both fall to the floor. He yanked her colourful leggings from her body, desperate for the pinkness waiting underneath.

"My my", he whispered, "Blair the _secret_ ballerina?" She had feared this moment since noticing the gold letters but he continued only by offering an intense kiss of his own. "I'm sorry, I..." she began, pulling away but not knowing how she would end the sentence. "Later _Waldorf_..." He cut her off. "...It's been too long". He had sensed the worry in her few words. He pulled her towards the falling water. "Are you ready for a less innocent kind of workout?" "Yes" she managed to stutter.

She was losing the ability to talk, see or think as he ran his hands over her body and kissed and nipped his way down her neck and shoulder bone and further still. Now that they were completely soaking, her curls hung over her chest. He swept them aside before running his finger tips around one nipple as his other hand pulled her even closer by her bottom. She felt his hardness pushing into her tummy as his lips began to worship her breasts.

She breathed in the small amount of scent that remained on him. She had felt lost in the week as his smell had gradually faded from their bedsheets at home. Her eyes had watered last night when she had missed his return due to a Waldforf Designs shoot in Miami. She had spent the night in a hotel alone instead of a night reunited with her love, her King. She had returned to the city this morning but had sensed his concern over the build up of work in his absence at Bass Industries and had chosen to let him focus and surprise him tonight instead.

She was blown from her thoughts as he dropped to his knees and parted her legs slightly. His fingers softly tickled around her hips and the soft flesh beneath her naval whilst his mouth began to explore her intimately. He began with a minute of soft kisses that quickly made her relax and stop thinking about how she would explain her "new" hobby. He started poking and flicking her with the tip of his tongue. One hand moved down and began stroking the delicate skin behind her opening and occasionally drifted further back to other highly sensitive parts. The sound of the water was probably enough to mask her gasps and moans but neither of them gave a thought to the world beyond the glass door.

Her knees began to tighten, she caught her breath quickly and flexed closer towards his mouth. They both knew what this meant. He wrapped one strong arm around her thigh to support her. He knew too well how her body would react. His tongue continued to work as he stared up at her in awe and plunged two fingers into her warm centre making her lose control. He held her tightly, watching any tension break out of her and feeling so relieved to be home.

Reasserting herself from the blissful haze, she grabbed the hair on the top of his head and pulled, giving him no choice but to rise upwards. He plunged his tongue into her mouth and groaned deeply. He let her swap their places with him now against the wall. He felt light headed as she worked her way down his chest and stomach. Her mouth connected with his tip and she sunk him into her mouth and throat. He couldn't wait any longer. "Blair.." he rasped, almost apologetically as he pulled her up and stepped aside to pin her front first against the wall.

She squealed as the cold marble surface connected with her body. This time she parted her legs for him and tilted her pelvis up slightly. Gripping her hips he drove into her, both of them exhaling instantly. She raised her arms higher, scraping her hands against the wall in an attempt to grip and offer some resistance to his hard pounding. "Did you miss this?" She asked with a mocking innocence. "I missed _everything_ about you" he responded with an air of desperation. "I thought you might have forgotten our moment by the fountain when you mis-named me just now. I've been Mrs Bass a good few months, Mr Bass!" She knew which buttons to push. Chuck groaned. "Say it again Blair, tell me your name". His thrusts became even more urgent. "I am and...always...will be...a ..Bass!" she stuttered as she exploded again around him. He felt her tighten deliciously and hooked his arms under hers and onto the front of her shoulders. He pulled her back to claim her neck with his mouth as he got his release.

Attempting to recover and breathe, he withdrew slowly and turned her around. Forehead to forehead, they gazed at each other. He smiled his real smile, the one that few, if any, other people ever saw. "I miss you so much every time I have to leave you Blair". He began to lightly kiss as many points on her face as he could, claiming her after his absence but also looking for answers. He felt like he'd stumbled upon something she didn't want him to find at that afternoon. "Are you ok?" he spoke quietly. "I am now" she said, snuggling into his chest and holding him tightly, regretting any time they had ever spent apart.


	3. Chapter 3

When Blair had finally been ready to let go of her husband she'd left the shower room first and given him the all clear to make a quick exit. He grabbed her hand as he passed and kissed it passionately before slipping out to the correct changing room. She got back into her day clothes and lightly towel dried her hair. She scrunched her curls into shape but left them damp. She was looking forward to reaching the safety of the penthouse. She paused before opening the door to leave. She was certain he'd ask more about her ballet when they were alone in the limo. She needed time to plan how she wanted the conversation to go. She quickly tapped out a text. _"Need to talk to the spa here about a change to my facial treatment next week. Go on ahead & arrange dinner with room service. B xo"._

"Urggh I'm stuffed!" Blair exclaimed as she slouched back into the sofa. Keeping her mouth full with the food from her plate had proved to be an effective way of avoiding too much conversation over dinner. "You seem to have worked up quite an appetite sweetheart", Chuck grinned through his eyes at her. "I blame you Bass and your tendency for rule breaking", she replied. "You're the one that came looking for me if I remember correctly" he said as he moved across the seat towards her. "And you know I can never say no to you." He slid his arms around her and pulled her into him, kissing her temple. For a minute or so he cuddled her in silence. He reached for her left hand in her lap. He delicately raised her ring finger and twiddled her wedding band and sparkling engagement ring from side to side. It was another affectionate habit he had developed since their wedding day. Sometimes he still couldn't believe she was wearing them for real. He remembered kneeling down in the rain at Harry Winston desperately trying to accept that their lives had changed and they were not going to find their way back to each other. He'd never been a religious man but thank God even the staff there hadn't given up on them and had stored the ring in the vault. Thank God it was _his _ring on _her_. Forever.

But she didn't feel right in his arms tonight. Usually they moulded into each other completely but tonight a tension remained in her. "Are you sure everything is OK Blair?" He tilted his head down to her. She met his gaze but did not speak. He pushed her up a little and started rubbing her shoulders. "When I began to ask about your new ballet habit in the shower you seemed anxious and you are again now". She had turned her face away as he'd finished his sentence. He knew his observations were correct because she would have wittily responded by now had he been wrong. He stopped the massage and ran his hand down her back, concerned by her silence. "Blair?" Her narrow shoulders rose as she pulled in a sharp breath. "Blair! What is it?" he tried to say more firmly. He could not mask the concern in his voice. Slowly she turned to face him; lifting her eyes up to his and revealing the tears that had started to slip down her cheeks.

It was pointless to try to attempt any kind of charade. He was always able to see right through her. She felt more tears pooling in her eyes as she tried to employ some of the calming tactics she had used to save face with him so often in the past. They were useless. She sobbed suddenly as her emotions got the better of her. She tried to catch her breath and prevent a panic attack as she saw the look of confusion and concern take over his face.

_For so long she had thought she was OK. The physical recovery had been uncomplicated. As for the emotional recovery, well, she was Blair Waldorf. She was always in control, right? She thought that she had handled it. Perhaps really she had not given it enough thought afterall. _

_She had cried for hours in the hospital. In Serena's arms. In Lily's arms. In Nate's arms. There had been a cocktail of tears of sorrow for the loss of her baby, tears of relief for the beginning of Chuck's recovery and tears of heart ache that after everything they had been through and their brave declarations they would never be together. _

_Just one day after making her promise to God she had discharged herself and persuaded Louis to make swift arrangements for them to leave for Monaco. The change of scenery and the distance from everything familiar to her had helped a little. Louis' attempts to understand and support her had reminded her of a Bambi trying to stand for the first time. It had even led to her indulging in her other childhood Disney favourites in attempt to distract her mind and lighten her mood. To her surprise Louis had given her the space she deserved. It would have been easy for him to be paranoid about exactly what had led her to be in a town car with Chuck Bass that night but he seemed to accept the dishonest explanation she offered. _

_He had respected her desire for time alone. She'd shopped in luxury boutiques and wandered on beaches of the French Riviera. She had even learnt to sail on the Mediterranean in an attempt to vanish the pessimism. As awful as it sounded, at times her heart ache over Chuck had been a distraction from the loss of her baby. She felt riddled with disgust whenever she considered the possibility that she loved him more than her unborn child. She hated herself for her indecision over which loss was greater. She felt guilt stricken when she considered that maybe the crash was punishment for her decision to leave her __fiancé_ _for another man. Often at night she held her nearly flat-again stomach and wept. At other times she felt paralysed when she remembered she could never be with him again. Just like the last time she had pined for him on European soil she was hurting in her whole body and not just her heart. _

_When her mind felt like it was about to explode she had often sought solace in a small chapel hidden in a picturesque square just off a side street. On many occasions she had talked to the old priest there about all of her despair through a combination of her rusty French and his __Monégasque__ and broken English. Of course, she'd been the perfect linguistics student at Constance but the curriculum had never prepared her for the topics she found herself discussing. His impartial words had often brought at least some clarity and, later on, had encouraged her to turn to the Church and Father Smythe back in New York. _

_During her time away she had contacted her Mother and Serena only on a private phone number at times that she felt strong enough to handle their concern for her. She had to ensure that Chuck could not trace her for his own sake more than anything. In early December she had decided it was time to face the music and go back to New York. She loved the city and she had missed it. Other people's busyness in the party season had enabled her return to go relatively unnoticed._

_On the rainy night that she had found Chuck in her penthouse the mixture of emotions had completely overwhelmed her. She had gripped the banister whilst trying desperately to compose herself as his sad eyes washed all over her. She managed to put on a hard face to his perfect face for just a minute before she fled under false pretences without even grabbing her purse. In the weeks that followed, without her really being aware of it, the battle between her determination to keep her vow on the one side and her yearning for Chuck on the other had overthrown everything else._

This definitely wasn't what she had planned after she had texted Chuck earlier that evening. Even though she'd turned away as she had started to talk she couldn't believe that she was finally managing to verbalise the memories she had been too afraid to share with him, or anyone, for so long. Twisting back towards him, she expected to be met by intense but sympathetic dark eyes. She felt the situation going out of her control when instead she saw him leaning forward with his head in his hands and his finger tips wet with his own tears.

"Chuck!" she said urgently, reaching for him. He sat up slightly and grasped her small hand with both of his own but he stared at the floor. "I didn't want to upset you. I just wanted to explain what's been going on."

There was no response from him. "I should never have said any..." "_Yes_ you should have Blair." He came back to her. She found his response difficult to decipher. She hated having to mention Louis' name in his presence. She hated reminding him of the pain she'd caused him last year.

"Are you angry?" Her voice faltered as she finished the question. She couldn't take her eyes off him and desperately wanted him to reconnect with her. She felt relief as he turned to face her and gently lifted his hand to cup her face.

"I'm only angry with myself" he confessed. "I should have known all of this already. I should have known what you went through. I should have done more to help you".

"You couldn't have helped me Chuck. I didn't let you. I shut you out completely. You have to believe how hard it was for me to do that." Chuck had taken a few deep breaths and was now more composed whilst Blair began to succumb to tears again.

"Of course I believe you. I didn't know what to do back then. Obviously I sent texts and tried to call. I made plans to fly out and find you but had no idea if I'd be any use or be wanted when I got there." Blair kissed his raised hand and moved it down, holding it over her heart. "But I'm not talking about back then" Chuck continued.

"I've been foolish to think that everything you went through was completely in the past. Sometimes I doubted that it truly was but I just let you carry on holding your head high and being...being...Blair Waldorf! I just wish you hadn't waited until now to open up. I wish I had taken better care of you." He began to well up again.

"When I saw you dancing earlier I felt like I didn't recognise part of you. There was this... calmness and tranquility flowing out of you that I haven't seen for so long and now I think I understand why it's been missing. I should have been carrying you this past year but I left you out there on your own."

"I...It's just...But..." Blair tried to respond but could not find any words. Despite feeling some relief from opening up to her husband she also felt completely drained. It had been so long since she'd unreservedly exposed her emotions like this.

He eased his hand from her grip and her chest and moved closer to remove any space between them. They each felt the other relax as they wrapped their bodies together entirely. The tears had stopped for now but the conversation was not over.

**A/N: **This chapter and Blair opening up was so much harder to write than I had thought it would be when I first came up with the story outline. As you can see, it's going to carry on into at least one more chapter. Hopefully you might be forming some ideas about why Blair has taken up ballet. All will be explained. Thanks to the people that have read and reviewed this so far.


	4. Chapter 4

Half an hour or so passed and they remained huddled together on the couch. As usual, they had both gained strength and resolve from simply holding each other. "Is there anything else you want to say?" Chuck asked before pressing his mouth to her forehead in a kiss. "There is, but not right now. Do you mind? I'm exhausted" she replied quietly. He couldn't help but kiss her again. "Tell me when and if you're ready to. I'll go and run you a bath?" She nodded and he squeezed her gently before lifting himself from his seat.

She sighed gratefully as she lowered herself into the warm bath. There were bubbles, petals and candles. Her husband really did know what she liked and would always do whatever he could to make any situation right for her. She regretted not telling him of her woe much earlier. She knew deep down that his love for her was greater than any of his sadness and anger over the past. He would have only wanted to help her move forward with her life, _their _life. She settled comfortably and hoped the aroma from her favourite Chanel bath oil would begin to ease her mind.

He looked into the bathroom to check that she was OK. He kept his glass of Scotch out of sight so that she wouldn't realise he'd desperately needed it. He need not have bothered because her eyes were shut. She breathed slowly in and out as the candle light flickered around her.

He could feel his heart thumping inside his chest and he leaned on the support of the door frame. "_When and if..._" The words had just slipped out of his mouth but now they took him back to the airport hotel room where he'd vowed that he would do _anything_ for her. He'd pay the dowry if it bankrupted him, he'd give up New York and hide anywhere in the world as long as they were together.

His heart had shattered as she had walked away, determined to handle the dire situation on her own so that one day they might be together with nothing over their heads. In the present moment he knew that he'd never let her handle anything on her own again.

It had gutted him so much to hear what she had gone through, largely alone, in Monaco. It was his task now, his duty to take care of her. Always. But he felt queasy in knowing that no amount of money or grand gestures would solve the challenge she was facing now. He still wasn't entirely sure what the challenge was. What did her earlier soliloquy mean here and now? How could he begin to heal invisible wounds? He needed a top up.

She opened her eyes at the creaking sound caused by him moving away from the door frame. "Chuck," she held out her hand as he turned towards her at the sound of her voice. "Sit with me?"

He moved into the room and sat down next to her, holding her hand and leaning his side against the bath. Her eyes noticed the empty glass he placed next to him. In the past she'd seen him drink for pleasure and seen him drink to numb pain. There was no indecision about the reason why he was on the Scotch tonight.

She began to talk again. "When we were in Monte Carlo you didn't want to talk about the months that had passed before. A large part of me wanted to leave the past in the past too, so I went along with your wishes and let it lie."

Chuck smirked at her softly, "If my memory serves me correctly, I let you put it all on a hall pass. It was a one time offer. My mind was clouded and dazed from the endless, glorious sex". He hoped that reminding her of those heavenly couple of days would lead her away from the topic of conversation he suspected she was heading down. Some parts of the past staying there still sounded good to him.

She clasped his hand with both of her own before continuing. "I was kind of relieved by the reprieve and excited for us to move forward. But I know that you haven't left everything behind either Chuck." His eyes met hers nervously. "Sometimes when we're with Serena and Humphrey I can see unease in your face when Brooklyn and I converse. On the rare occasions that anything related to last spring is mentioned I notice the stiffness that comes over you and the frozen look in your eyes even though you try to fight it." He held eye contact despite wanting to look away.

"Humphrey was 'Mr Right Now'. He'd been loyal and trustworthy when I first returned from Monaco. He put aside his logical mind to help me try to cope with the vow I'd made and the torment it brought. He never ridiculed me for it. We had things in common. We shared some of the same interests that I had forgotten about for so long whilst I was _willingly_ consumed by you, determined to become a powerful woman and then later caught up in the you-me-...you know who love triangle." She really did hate to say Louis' name.

"In some ways it was good for me to find some of my passions again. I felt like someone else when I spent time with him. I could close myself off from all of the drama, everything that had happened, and for a while it felt like just what I needed."

Chuck was trying to keep a neutral expression on his face but she was right. Even though he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he had her whole heart now, it was painful to think about time she had spent with anyone else. He thought he'd done a decent job of hiding his reactions to Humphrey. He knew how unecessary they were. As usual Blair had read him correctly. She wasn't the only one being exposed today.

"But you snuck back in didn't you?" She paused to kiss his hand. "Gradually into my thoughts ...into my dreams." She paused and they gave each other a knowing look. "I tried to deny it but it was just so easy and fun to be with you when we were trying to solve the mystery of Diana and your Father. And that was when I genuinely started to feel like myself again." She was pleased to draw a smile out of him. "The next thing I knew I was on the Empire roof confessing my love for you and never more certain that you were it...the real Mr Right...Mr Right _forever_."

Chuck's memory of that night was hazy. He could recall the wave of hurt that had rolled over him when his Father dismissed him like he was nothing more than an office PA. Blair had shown up just as it began turning into rage; further fuelled by embarrassment at the notion of having to rely on her Mother's company to build his own name back up. His head had overruled his heart as he'd walked away from her into a 24 hour wreck of smashed glasses and empty decanters. But around the same time he'd allowed Jack to talk him into a revenge plan, his heart had started to fight back with flutters that his mind could not suppress. He knew he'd be back to fight for her once he'd got his future back on track but yet he was still stunned when she came to fight for him first.

Blair shifting in the water pulled him out of his recollection.

"Be that as it may, none of this explains why you were performing ballet today. I know from experience you're a fast learner but you didn't appear to be a beginner." She stared down at the bath for a few seconds in avoidance. He knew she was deciding whether to be completely truthful or think of a way out of it for now. More seconds passed.

"Delayed grief" she simply stated as she lifted her eyes back to meet his. The questioning look in his eyes made her know she should continue. "A few weeks after we got back from honeymoon I started to feel...different. Everything was running smoothly at Waldorf Designs and the business plans for the New Year were being executed perfectly but yet I was feeling restless and anxious. My team at the atelier kept reassuring me and insisting everything was as it should be and I began to realise that perhaps my feelings and moods weren't related to work."

She could tell his mind was working in overdrive. Trying to connect dots and reach the right conclusion before it was actually revealed to him. Typical Chuck and one of the millions of things she loved about him. She knew she had to choose her words carefully. She couldn't let him think that he was responsible for anything other than the happiness he brought her.

"At home I've been happy. You are the perfect distraction and our time together as husband and wife has been everything I always dreamed of. When we're together it's so easy not to let thoughts of anything else in. You completely fill me up." She squeezed his hands tighter in an attempt to reassure him and make him understand. He tried to smile to encourage her to continue.

"The only trouble I've had between these walls is random bouts of insomnia. Some nights I sleep like my Mother on a heavy prescription whilst on others I'm awake for hours with my thoughts. Some of the sunrises I've seen over Manhattan have been breathtaking but I'd rather have been snoozing next to you." She didn't know whether to tell him the next part. She desperately didn't want him to take on any blame. "It's worse when you're not here. This week has been...difficult. I haven't slept more than a couple of hours each night".

Now that she'd confessed it, he could recall the feeling of reaching for her in the night and finding her side of their bed empty more often than he had in the past. He'd been so tired from his own work recently that he could too easily drift back to sleep thinking she was in the bathroom or fetching a water. He should have paid more attention. He would never have left her alone this week had he known the truth.

"I made an appointment with Dr Schumann and we talked through everything that has happened. Although it wasn't his area of expertise he strongly thought my symptoms might be grief related and referred me to a colleague with more experience in that area. She gave me the diagnosis. Apparently it's quite common. The full reaction to a loss can be postponed until a later time, sometimes even years later. Part of me is relieved to be facing this now rather than further down the line."

"Delayed grief". He echoed her earlier statement slowly as though he was trying to understand it. "I don't understand why...why is it surfacing now?" Blair knew he was fighting to remain calm but could sense a growing unease in him. She sat upright and leaned closer to him, holding both of their hands together. "My therapist has suggested a couple of explanations. It could be that all of the drama of last year provided a distraction from the complete grieving process and now that my life is calmer my mind has had more opportunity to consider thoughts and feelings that were temporarily blocked. It's also possible that Bart's death triggered something." Chuck nodded in acceptance, not wanting her to have to go into more detail and nor particularly wanting to discuss his Father at any great length.

"I've been seeing her every Friday for a while now. She suggested the ballet classes. Well not ballet specifically, but trying something new and fresh to exercise my mind and ease some of the anxiety that can build up. So that's become my Friday afternoon. A therapy session and a ballet class. Sounds like I'm in high school, huh?"

"So long as you haven't been wearing a tutu in front of your classmates! I did notice it isn't a female only class", Chuck scowled at her before breaking into a gentle smile. "You're the only one to have seen me in a tutu Bass. I promise that won't change." He didn't know if it was appropriate or not, but the memory of the night he indulged her Black Swan fad a couple of years back made him lean in for a kiss. She had certainly deserved an Academy Award for her performance that night. She kissed him back softly, raising her damp hand to caress his cheek.

She stayed close to lean her forehead against his. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about all this sooner. I was worried that you'd be upset or put some of the blame on yourself. You've been so strong since Bart's death and I didn't want to drag you into my darkness."

A selfish part of him felt disappointment. Had she not felt the total bliss that he had in their first months of marriage? He thought she'd been right there with him but she couldn't have been there completely. Not with this hanging over her. He hadn't made her the happiest she could be. He quickly tried to snap out of these thoughts. Any insecurity it created to him was insignificant compared to what she must have been going through. Re-hashing the hardest time of her life in secret therapy sessions and not feeling as though she could tell anyone.

He moved his head back slightly so that he could look into her eyes.

"Blair, we are _married_ now. For me that means opening up _everything_ to each other. You know that. Sharing the highs and lows of every day and overcoming any troubles _together_. In the brightest times and the darkest times we should be there _together_. We'll always cope so long as we're in it together." He hated that he was bringing tears to her eyes again, but he had to continue.

"I just wish I'd known you were struggling sooner. The pain from memories of being apart last year or the pain from memories of my Father is nothing compared to the despair I would feel if I thought I had failed to be the husband that you need and deserve and the husband I want to be. If I don't realise it myself then _come to me_ when I should be there for you. Please don't let me fail." His voice cracked in those last five words. He lifted his hand to wipe away tears from both of their cheeks.

He wasn't crying out of sorrow. He was crying because he felt completely overwhelmed by his love for this woman. He could physically feel it beneath his rib cage like a suspended weight pulling down. There she sat before him, naked, beautiful, elegant and yet vulnerable and weary from the situations fate had dealt her. He reached for a bath towel as he gestured for her to get out of the tub. He needed to be closer to her.

Once she was standing he wrapped the large towel around her and lifted her into his arms. He carried her to their bedroom and settled against the pillows, positioning her in his lap and binding his arms around her. "I love you so much...more and more everyday and my urge to look after you will never end". "Ditto", she whispered as she buried her head into his strong chest.

The next week passed by peacefully. Chuck made sure he was home from the office at a reasonable time and often returned bearing gifts. He knew they would not solve anything but he wanted her to know he was thinking of her, that he thought she deserved little packages of extra happiness. With her permission he'd informed their closest friends and family of her revelation so that they could be prepared if she wanted to turn to them. He'd ammended his schedule so that he wouldn't be away overnight on business for the next three months at least.

Only once had he woken to see an empty space across the bed. He'd got up to find Blair looking out into the New York night. He'd stood with her for a while before she led him back to bed. He felt relieved when she'd fallen asleep in his arms as he gently stroked her head. Maybe he could have a more active part in helping her afterall.

Friday afternoon arrived and Chuck had arranged another squash game with Robbie. He didn't expect to see his wife this week as he'd arrived half an hour later due to a meeting and her class would have finished up by now. It had been another Bass victory. He sincerely hoped his opponent had been playing to his full strength and wasn't just afraid to beat a billioinaire. He'd grill Nate on the matter later.

He made his way to the changing area and started to look forward to getting home to Blair. Perhaps he'd just grab his bag and shower back at the penthouse. He fully intended to do so until he noticed a pair of pink ballet shoes lying in the middle of the immaculately tidy changing area. He felt the excitement in his groin as he grabbed a towel and turned towards the showers. Whatever challenges they faced, whatever cards fate dealt them, life with Mrs Bass would never be boring.

xoxo

Apologies for the delay in getting this final chapter up. It was a lot harder to write than the others and I wanted to get it right. Four chapters has taken long enough to write. I have so much respect for the people that write much longer stories. Thanks for reading. Please drop a review if you can xx


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